A little whitewashed house with a blue door and blue shutters on an unspoiled island in a picturesque village next to the beach with a taverna round the corner. In your dreams Moley. Welcome to a tumbledown ruin on a hillside with no road, no water, no electricity, no roof, no floor, no doors, no windows and twenty years of goat dung.
They were not tourist taverna keftethes, lumps of clay swimming in sump oil. They were light and fragrant and melted like truffles in the mouth With them was rice flavoured with goat's butter, fresh wild greens dug out of the hillside...
cheek puckering, lip curling, gum shrivelling, tongue gagging, tooth aching, head shuddering, throat burning, stomach churning, bowel trembling, squit shitting, arse burning turpentine
"Evripos means fast current in Ancient Greek,"
"Fat lot they knew," said Kate and tossed an empty Smarties tube into the historic waters to bob aimlessly on the spot.
The tormented wail of an amplified violin cut through the hubbub like cheese wire. An electric bouzouki played the sound track to a nervous breakdown. The trilling clarinet, its bell wrapped round the ball of a microphone, aroused a secret and unwanted excitement, like pulling wool through teeth.
Tassos N Petrisa: "The emperor Justinian fortified Halkida in the 5th century. There then follows a period of some centuries during, which very little of importance seems to have happened."
For haemorrhoids, fry an onion in pork fat and leave as long as possible in the affected place. Sfikas is silent about the size but presumably you should take measurements. He advises letting it cool down first - you wouldn't want to burn your fingers.
'A fabulous insight into Hellenic life' Daily Express
'A love affair with Greece' Daily Telegraph
'John Mole writes with clarity, honesty and humour...whether you are new to the country or share Mole's passion for all things Greek, this book offers an entertaining glimpse of life in rural Greece. ' Saga Travellers News
'It's All Greek to Me!' represents travel writing at its best. Mole's descriptions of the people and places he encounters do for Greece what Peter Mayle did for France in his bestselling 'A Year in Provence' and Frances Mayes for 'Italy in Under the Tuscan Sun'.' www.greece.com
'A wonderful book about Greece, the Greek people and transitional island life with hilariously recounted misadventures. Mole is a brilliant comic writer - and generous humorist as well, for he doesn't just sketch the various mad characters and situations he encounters, he lampoons himself first and foremost.' Greece in Print
'Anecdotes come thick and fast... Mole's affable style suits the subject, and his self-deprecatory tone is a bonus.' The Good Book Guide